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Старый 16.08.2003, 06:17   #1 
Altis Asmodey
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101 Things To Do With / Reasons To Have A Gnomes

#1 Lampstand
#2 Us as side table next to chair to hold glass
#3 Foot Rest
#4 BBQ Mmmmm
#5 Gnome Kabobs Double Mmmmm
#6 Make find things under bed
#7 Yard ordiment
#8 Make him retrieve beer for ya while you play EQ
#9 Make him retrieve beer for ya while you watch TV
#10 Your own personally Mini Me
#11 Make him fix clocks, watchs, blenders, etc
#12 Put in charge of changing TV channel when you loose remote.
#13 Fetch Paper
#14 Let it make late night runs to Taco Bell for ya
#15 Stand in corner and use as hat rack
#16 Wedge between back seat and rear window as gun rack
#17 Chicks really dig gnomes
#18 Launch from potato gun
#19 Have it find your golf balls at the range
#20 Have it chase neighbors dog out of yard
#21 Have it chase neighbors kids out of yard
#22 Chicks really dig em
#23 Your own personaly pocket skill 250 Tinkerer
#24 You\'d be the only guy on the block with one
#25 They make great throw pillows
#26 They make great seat cushions
#27 If you have two they can have jumping contest
#28 Boxing contest
#29 Race
#30 If chicks dig one, they will flip when they see you have two
#31 Good for getting your inlaws out of the house
#32 Have em order pizza when ever you like
#33 They are cheaper than a dog
#34 They take orders better that cats do
#35 Fun to throw bean bags at
#36 Heck just fun to throw
#37 Make them stand under chair with 3 legs (4 leg you see)
#38 They are compact and make for easy storage
#39 Cheap labor
#40 Cause there are alot worst things you could spend your money on
#41 Let it PL your character while your at work
#42 Make it come up with 101 things to do with itself (what you think i wrote this ??)
#43 Hang from ceiling for pinyata practice for cinco de mayo
#44 Play tag with em (he will never catch you no matter how slow you are)
#45 They are actually VERY good singers
#46 I think they are the win
#47 Micheal Jackson thinks they are the win
#48 You think they are the win or you would not have gatten this far
#49 Let it do tricks for your guest
#50 Let do income taxes (at your own risk)
#51 Use it to smuggle goods
#52 Make fold your underwear
#53 Your socks
#54 Ladies they are great at picking out outfits for ya
#55 And finding lost shoes
#56 Fun to poke with a stick
#57 Scare siblings
#58 Good for Halloween Decorations
#59 Good for St. Patricks Day
#60 Good for Christmas
#61 Fun to poke with a stick
#62 Funny as heck with they grumble about you poking em in side with a stick
#63 They dont do the Pillsbery Dough boy giggle when you poke stomach but gnome grumbling is just as good
#64 Gnome monks would be neat
#65 Gnome Rangers would be neater
#66 Dress as Napolean for History prodject
#67 I think gnomes rank up there with chicks, beer, and tacos
#68 Probably more things to do with a gnome then a dead cat
#69 Dead gnomes look just as ugly as live ones
#70 Door stop
#71 Paper weight
#72 Insist it call you Master, Oh Great One, My King, etc
#73 Though they grumble they complain less than women folk
#74 Use to bowl
#75 Target practice with paint gun
#76 Against regulations, but if you put on table they are good at Ping Pong
#77 They walk funny
#78 You cant have too many gnomes
#79 Car breaks down they can push (keep one in trunk ladies just incase)
#80 No manner how ugly ya are, your always prettier than the gnome
#81 They are good at changing oil in car
#82 Incase you ever need a Gnome Translator
#83 Most are house trained unlike trolls
#84 If there are cats running amuk on the moon why the heck cant ya have a gnome
#85 If you think my list is getting weak blame the gnome who wrote it
#86 You come up with this many things about gnomes
#87 Fun to use as bouncer at 10 year old B-Day party
#88 Not having a gnome can even ruin a romantic cruise
#89 The Jones have gnomes
#90 If it weren\'t for gnomes this list would not exist
#91 Did i mention chicks really like em
#92 Store em in fridge so they can hand you soda when you open door
#93 Store in closet so you can have em hand you shirt when you open door
#94 Store next to tub to hold towels
#95 Sick em on people just for the kicks and giggles
#96 Because they are better off working for you then living in the wild
#97 Booster seat for small childern
#98 If i can think up this list at 4 am they MUST be useful
#99 You always wanted one as i child
#100 They do good George Bush impressions
#101 Football
#102 Punt!



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