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Старый 25.07.2003, 19:05   #1 
Altis Asmodey

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EverMatrix 2: ReNerfed

EverMatrix 2: ReNerfed

*Open* We see Trinity running from an Agent. She jumps out the window. Agent jumps out after her.

Trinity: Shit I could have sworn they couldnt path down here

Agent_01 shoots at Trinity, but MISSES!
Agent_01 shoots at Trinity, but MISSES!
Agent_01 shoots at Trinity, but MISSES!
Agent_01 shoots Trinity for 5,000 points of damage!
Trinity is hit for non-melee 20,000 damage
Trinity died.


Neo: Gah!!!
Trinity: Huh? Whats the matter?
Neo: Matrix dreams
Trinity: Neo I swear if you start having seizures while playing and you think the Agents are coming to get you in real life, I\'m outta here
Link: Guys...you\'re late for the guild meeting

*In Matrix*
Niobe: These reports are the last transmition of Osirus before he got fed up and quit the game
Ice: Another EQ expansion? Thats impossible. They havent even fixed the current shit.
Morpheous: Why is that impossible? Another 29.99 from every man, woman, and child...that sounds exactly like the thinking of SoE to me.
Niobe: So what do we do?
Morpheous: We wait for a message from the Oracle
Niobe: Morpheous...you know she doesnt post to Zionly Buisness anymore since we funded the board with ebay funds.

*At the door*
Door_guy01: Hail
Door_guy01: Hail
Door_guy01: Wtf...I cant target you. Who the hell are you?
Agent_Smith: I have a trade for Neo...you see, he set me free
Door_guy01: Yea sure...open a window. A sealed envelop? Wtf are you, some ghey RPer? Piss off.
Neo: Lemme see that.
*Neo rightclicks the envelop...nothing happens*
Door_guy01: It doesnt work...
Neo: Get to the exits...SoE developers are coming...

*Later, at the park*
Neo: I got your message
Oracle: Sorry about that...figured I had to throw you guys a bone...the little hint about the flagmaker
Neo: How I can I trust you?
Oracle: You can\'t. It\'s a pickle. On the one hand, all the stuff I promise might be added. On the other hand, I might just be stringing you guys along so you don\'t quit. It\'s all going to come down to choice.
Neo: Choice?
Oracle: Whether or not the majority of our playerbase choses WoW over this.

*Agent Smith enters*
Agent_Smith: Mr. Anderson...how good to see you
Neo: I paid for a name change to escape my old rep...stop spreading that shit around
Agent_Smith: I just wanted to thank you for setting me free from CSR. I\'ve been bumped to developer status.
Neo: gg.
Agent_Smith: kkthx. I\'ve come here to show you a new encounter I designed for you based on your feedback. The Ring of Smith.
Neo: A ring event...wtf
*Agent Smiths keep pouring in*
Neo: When the hell do these start dropping loot? I\'ve been fighting them for 4 hours.
Agent_Smith: Didnt you know? The ring has reset 3 times since you started it due to bugs
Neo: Fuck this
Neo fades away

Neo: Oracle said the flagmaker will spawn in this building at 7am. However, there\'s a euro guild that camps him constantly to cockblock other guilds from entering the Plane of the Central Mainframe.
Trinity: They really need to randomize stuff like that

*Later that night*
Flagmaker: To enter the plane of CM, you\'ll have a 5 minute window to do a series of ring events. Failure to do things perfectly will result in event resets. The agents will be watching to make sure you dont exploit. You\'ll need to split your raid force up into 3 groups. The rest have to wait outside
Morpheous: Er...where\'s Neo?
Trinity: He said someone named Tigole wanted to show him something.

*In the inner room*
Neo: I fucking knew it. Plane of Central Mainframe B isnt finished yet.
The CEO: That is correct.
Neo: But the promises...the leaked uber loot...the months of development time...it was all lies?
The CEO: Yes. The One\'s function was to merely goad the player base to continue spending their countless hours playing our game and making them strive for unfinished content.
Neo: Wtf
The CEO: Well you have two choices. To the right is the message boards. To the left is quitting the game. When you go through the right door, you will hand select 23 various things that need to be nerfed, retuned, or buffed. These 23 things will be added upon the launch of a rival MMORPG.
*Neo starts to head towards the left door*
The CEO: Er...the countless hours invested in your character...our eventual caving in to player whines...WoW will fail. You will cause the death of your guild.
Neo: I\'m sick of this shit. l8r.
*Neo tries to open the door, but it opens the wrong way and smacks him*
The CEO: Oops...we missed one. We\'ll add that to our door and grammar fix list.

Старый 25.07.2003, 20:06   #2 
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Зомби мутанта

"Laser-bright your eyes,
Heartbeat stronger than your foe\'s,
You will conquer all."
-Kurita battle haiku(BattleTech)
Старый 07.08.2003, 04:54   #3 

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Круто! я бы до токаго никогда не додумался

The life is nothink without death and we are living for die!

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